Things not to do or say to a Deaf person

These are all things I have experienced. I'm pretty open about my Deafness and I am always willing to answer any questions but sometimes I am shocked at the things folks say or do often with the belief they are being funny

Don't shout at me, yes I can't hear but yelling at me isn't going to make it any better and if I am wearing my hearing aides that is just going to really hurt me

Don’t over-enunciate or speak slower.  “Helllloooo, mmyyyy naaaaammme iiiiisssss ...." I read lips and I was taught to do so at a normal speaking rate. slowing down and over-enunciating just makes that so much harder, your mouth doesn't move right and it gives me the impression you think I'm an idiot

Say you know sign language and then flip me off.  That’s lame.

Don’t cover your mouth and then ask if I can hear you.  Are you 5?  Apologies to 5-year-olds.

Don't ask me to read the lips of a private conversation thats rude

If I ask you to repeat something don't tell me it wasn't important or nevermind or I'll tell you later. It makes me feel like you want to exclude me.

Don't tell me to get a cochlear implant to cure my deafness- first it isn't a cure and second that is a very personal choice that not every deaf person wants. I am one of them and frankly I'm a bad canidate for one

“Wow, you don’t look deaf!”, "you're to pretty to be deaf", "you are to smart to deaf" and any variation thereof- ugh

When someone says they are Deaf don't answer with "what?" and think it is the best joke ever- it wasn't funny the first time and it isn't funny now

If I am signing to someone don't demand I voice my conversation, one it's hard to work two languages at the same time two it might not be a public conversation for you and three how rude!

Yes I speak well but it is a lot of work and sometimes I just want to be able to relax. You use your voice when you speak and it is second nature to you, I use my hands. I have a dream of one day attending an sca event and just enjoying myself without all the extra effort it takes to lip read and speak. we are getting to a point with silent heralds that I can almost do this. Don't be offended if I just don't want to talk, my brain can only take so much and with my health I find I'm getting tired faster

use what I identify as, if I say I'm hard of hearing then that is the way to describe my hearing loss, if I use deaf then that is what to use if I use Deaf (which I do) it is because I identify as such and I am asking you to respect my cultural identity as well. It is not for anyone else to decide what you are